Sunday, November 22, 2009

Grief

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”

- Washington Irving

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Déjà vu

Grey's Anatomy season 6, episode 4

Meredith's dad is my dad.

That scene where he's throwing up blood was my reality 3 years ago. Miraculously he survived. He stopped drinking for 9 months, and then started again.

I wonder if I were in the same situation, would I give him part of my liver?

My father isn't eligible for a transplant, and its not because he did this to himself. He's not eligible because he also has diabetes, and it's almost impossible to operate on him.

But I can't stop thinking about that night 3 years ago when we rushed him to the ER and they told me he wouldn't make it.

Would I have given him part of my liver if the option was there?

I don't know.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Finally

I have been waiting for today since January 25th, 2006.

Today is the day I move.

More on that when I settle in our new homeland.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Baby Bump Watch - Week 20

I swore I wouldn't do this, but I caved.

Introducing my half-way cooked baby:


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Thinking

I miss the days when I used to write on a regular basis.

Those were the days when I used to spend hours drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and working on my short movies.
Those were also the days when I used to cook for my friends every single day, because I loved it.


It's hard to think it's been 4 years since I've been able to feel that content.

The past few months have been difficult. If you haven't already noticed, I've been a little busy making a little human being. My first trimester was HARD, complete with unbelievable morning sickness and an almost miscarriage. Things are much better these days.




I've taken an unpaid vacation from work for the rest of the calendar year, and am moving countries yet again at the end of this week. I'm looking forward to two months of sleeping in, cooking, and just being creative. I'm looking forward to getting my life ready for this unbelievable change that's going to come. I didn't plan the pregnancy, but now that baby oops is half-way cooked, life can't get any better.

It also doesn't hurt that I'm getting the fuck outta here.

This is what that feels like to me (in Houston, circa June 2009):