For the past hour I've been going through an interesting scenario in my head. I picture myself walking into my boss's office and telling him that I don't want to be here anymore and have decided to take all of my vacation days starting Sunday. That would be 2 months off, paid. I figure it's either that or I turn in my 30-day notice now.
I decided to take a break and read the newspaper.
Gemini:
You may be sensitive to the point of absurdity. Offer consolation, but don't give them any direction. Don't let your emotion interfere with your efficiency.
The only thing I understood from that was the first sentence.
I need a vacation.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
The Morning After
This is what every couple should do the morning after they get married.
Shortly after he shot the video my husband asked me how the hell the kitten will get along with the dogs.
Shortly after he shot the video my husband asked me how the hell the kitten will get along with the dogs.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Just Married
I got married on Friday, April 17th 2009 at approximately 9 pm.
It was an emotional day for me. I spent the morning fighting with my soon-to-be- husband. I told him I didn't want us to make a mistake. The poor man had to put up with some serious crazy.
I got my hair done and rushed to get a manicure and pedicure. By the time I got back to the hotel the make-up artist had already started doing my mom's makeup. Then the water works stared. I cried for a good thirty minutes. It was a mixture of missing my family, cold feet, and the idea of something being so final. I also felt very alone.
Needless to say I was an hour late for the ceremony. The judge had been waiting over 45 minutes and all the paper work was done. The only thing missing was my father's signature. That's right. My father's signature, not mine. We arrived at the house and I immediately got pulled into a chair. I watched as my father signed the marriage contract and recited the vows with my husband. I watched them get me married.
I was in disbelief. The whole thing took less than 3 minutes. Next thing I know I'm being showered with congratulations.
I still don't believe it. People need to stop calling me Mrs.
Nothing changes. We still live in different countries. It won't feel final till after the wedding in October.
I'm sorry this post is weird. It kind of shows you what's going on in my head. All I can say with conviction is I married my best friend, and I love him.
I'll post pictures of Friday when I get them.
It was an emotional day for me. I spent the morning fighting with my soon-to-be- husband. I told him I didn't want us to make a mistake. The poor man had to put up with some serious crazy.
I got my hair done and rushed to get a manicure and pedicure. By the time I got back to the hotel the make-up artist had already started doing my mom's makeup. Then the water works stared. I cried for a good thirty minutes. It was a mixture of missing my family, cold feet, and the idea of something being so final. I also felt very alone.
Needless to say I was an hour late for the ceremony. The judge had been waiting over 45 minutes and all the paper work was done. The only thing missing was my father's signature. That's right. My father's signature, not mine. We arrived at the house and I immediately got pulled into a chair. I watched as my father signed the marriage contract and recited the vows with my husband. I watched them get me married.
I was in disbelief. The whole thing took less than 3 minutes. Next thing I know I'm being showered with congratulations.
I still don't believe it. People need to stop calling me Mrs.
Nothing changes. We still live in different countries. It won't feel final till after the wedding in October.
I'm sorry this post is weird. It kind of shows you what's going on in my head. All I can say with conviction is I married my best friend, and I love him.
I'll post pictures of Friday when I get them.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Hello Vertigo
I'm starting to get the feeling my body's trying to tell me something.
This morning I opened my eyes and was overwhelmed with the weirdest sensation. The room was spinning. I wasn't too concerned cause I figured it's another hypoglycemia attack, but when I checked my blood sugar levels the results were normal. I decided to give it some time but it didn't get any better. Stupidly enough I drove to work, and then my boss offered to drive me home and yelled at me for putting myself in a stupid/dangerous situation. Bless him.
Last week I had crazy food poisoning the day I got back from India. That was my 4th trip there and first case of viral diarrhea (sorry). A few days before I left to India I came down with a crazy 2-day flu.
So yeah, my body is indirectly telling me to change my life. I think.
I've been trying so hard to convince myself that this whole marriage thing isn't stressing me out. And I'm one of those people who believes the things they make up in their head - especially when it's a total lie. Isn't there a medical term for that? Did I just hear you say the crazies? That's what I thought.
Heather suggested I turn in my 30-day notice today. I have to admit how tempting it is. I just received my annual bonus, which means I don't have to worry about condo installments for 5 months. I figure I need to take a month of just doing nothing but lazing by a pool and reading and sleeping in and eating healthy and making cupcakes.
We'll see what happens.
This morning I opened my eyes and was overwhelmed with the weirdest sensation. The room was spinning. I wasn't too concerned cause I figured it's another hypoglycemia attack, but when I checked my blood sugar levels the results were normal. I decided to give it some time but it didn't get any better. Stupidly enough I drove to work, and then my boss offered to drive me home and yelled at me for putting myself in a stupid/dangerous situation. Bless him.
Last week I had crazy food poisoning the day I got back from India. That was my 4th trip there and first case of viral diarrhea (sorry). A few days before I left to India I came down with a crazy 2-day flu.
So yeah, my body is indirectly telling me to change my life. I think.
I've been trying so hard to convince myself that this whole marriage thing isn't stressing me out. And I'm one of those people who believes the things they make up in their head - especially when it's a total lie. Isn't there a medical term for that? Did I just hear you say the crazies? That's what I thought.
Heather suggested I turn in my 30-day notice today. I have to admit how tempting it is. I just received my annual bonus, which means I don't have to worry about condo installments for 5 months. I figure I need to take a month of just doing nothing but lazing by a pool and reading and sleeping in and eating healthy and making cupcakes.
We'll see what happens.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Thinking
I am getting married in a little over 48 hours.
Let me repeat that. I am getting married in 2 days.
How do I feel?
To be honest I don't feel anything. I'm not sure what to expect so I just stopped thinking about it. I don't even have anything to wear. This woman I work with stared at me in disbelief when she heard that. "You're getting married in 3 days and you have nothing to wear?"
So what?
There are moments where I feel I'm being drenched in ice water. Because I'm supposed to be scared and freaking out and bla bla bla. But I'm not. The wedding's not till October 30th so I figure I can freak out then. But the beauty of it is that I won't freak out then either. Cause it'll be a big party where I get to wear a ridiculously huge dress and dance in it.
And I love this man I am going to marry.
He has become my best friend.
Yesterday I had a pretty bad work day. Long story short: this is a man's world and it sucks to be a woman (in the Middle East) working in it. In addition to that, I snuck off for a few minutes with my 2 secretaries to try on dresses for the abovementioned marriage, and one of the dresses fell to the floor and I stood there with nothing but lime green panties infront of the secretaries and the saleswoman. That was followed by a tiff with a local woman when I called her driver a worthless man with no respect for honking 17 times in my ear. Followed by a screaming match with my father about having his brother at the paper signing this weekend.
Naturally I'm not the most pleasant person to talk to when all this drama happens, but the man I'm marrying didn't care. He talked to me throughout the day, asked me to explain everything in detail for him, laughed when he was supposed to, and completely sided with me even when I was being unreasonable.
I love him.
These are the things that matter to me.
And even though this week has been pretty rough, and I'm kind of indifferent about the paper work this weekend, I am happy to know that there is someone out there who loves and supports the crazy that happens in my head every so often.
Let me repeat that. I am getting married in 2 days.
How do I feel?
To be honest I don't feel anything. I'm not sure what to expect so I just stopped thinking about it. I don't even have anything to wear. This woman I work with stared at me in disbelief when she heard that. "You're getting married in 3 days and you have nothing to wear?"
So what?
There are moments where I feel I'm being drenched in ice water. Because I'm supposed to be scared and freaking out and bla bla bla. But I'm not. The wedding's not till October 30th so I figure I can freak out then. But the beauty of it is that I won't freak out then either. Cause it'll be a big party where I get to wear a ridiculously huge dress and dance in it.
And I love this man I am going to marry.
He has become my best friend.
Yesterday I had a pretty bad work day. Long story short: this is a man's world and it sucks to be a woman (in the Middle East) working in it. In addition to that, I snuck off for a few minutes with my 2 secretaries to try on dresses for the abovementioned marriage, and one of the dresses fell to the floor and I stood there with nothing but lime green panties infront of the secretaries and the saleswoman. That was followed by a tiff with a local woman when I called her driver a worthless man with no respect for honking 17 times in my ear. Followed by a screaming match with my father about having his brother at the paper signing this weekend.
Naturally I'm not the most pleasant person to talk to when all this drama happens, but the man I'm marrying didn't care. He talked to me throughout the day, asked me to explain everything in detail for him, laughed when he was supposed to, and completely sided with me even when I was being unreasonable.
I love him.
These are the things that matter to me.
And even though this week has been pretty rough, and I'm kind of indifferent about the paper work this weekend, I am happy to know that there is someone out there who loves and supports the crazy that happens in my head every so often.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Insight
As strange as it sounds, a lot of my relationships have been redefined since last October.
Call it an epiphany, but I see people differently. Perhaps my friend Tanya is right: It's not that people change, they just become more of who they are.
Sometimes that just fucking sucks.
Call it an epiphany, but I see people differently. Perhaps my friend Tanya is right: It's not that people change, they just become more of who they are.
Sometimes that just fucking sucks.
Wise Words
"Austin is the equivalent of curling up in a fetal position and getting away from everything..it will always be there for u."
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