Thinking

I am getting married in a little over 48 hours.

Let me repeat that. I am getting married in 2 days.

How do I feel?

To be honest I don't feel anything. I'm not sure what to expect so I just stopped thinking about it. I don't even have anything to wear. This woman I work with stared at me in disbelief when she heard that. "You're getting married in 3 days and you have nothing to wear?"

So what?

There are moments where I feel I'm being drenched in ice water. Because I'm supposed to be scared and freaking out and bla bla bla. But I'm not. The wedding's not till October 30th so I figure I can freak out then. But the beauty of it is that I won't freak out then either. Cause it'll be a big party where I get to wear a ridiculously huge dress and dance in it.

And I love this man I am going to marry.

He has become my best friend.

Yesterday I had a pretty bad work day. Long story short: this is a man's world and it sucks to be a woman (in the Middle East) working in it. In addition to that, I snuck off for a few minutes with my 2 secretaries to try on dresses for the abovementioned marriage, and one of the dresses fell to the floor and I stood there with nothing but lime green panties infront of the secretaries and the saleswoman. That was followed by a tiff with a local woman when I called her driver a worthless man with no respect for honking 17 times in my ear. Followed by a screaming match with my father about having his brother at the paper signing this weekend.

Naturally I'm not the most pleasant person to talk to when all this drama happens, but the man I'm marrying didn't care. He talked to me throughout the day, asked me to explain everything in detail for him, laughed when he was supposed to, and completely sided with me even when I was being unreasonable.

I love him.


These are the things that matter to me.

And even though this week has been pretty rough, and I'm kind of indifferent about the paper work this weekend, I am happy to know that there is someone out there who loves and supports the crazy that happens in my head every so often.