Love of my Life

I look at her and feel my heart will explode from something I've never felt before. Something much more than love. I want to keep her against my chest forever. I want to protect everything about her, down to the last hair on her body.

I want to protect her with such ferocity, I wonder where it's all coming from.

Nothing else matters.

I feel tears stream down my face. Might be all the crazy hormones. I choose to think its love.

This is what I've waited for my whole life, and I never even knew it.

She is the love of my life.


Sofia Nina
March 21st, 2010
6:00 pm
3.86 kg


She gave me the best mother's day.

Ha!

I'm still pregnant.

For the past 36 hours I've been experiencing what they call the 'bloody show' - which is basically pink discharge. It's disgusting. It means labor is 'imminent,' but then again labor has been imminent for weeks now. I figure it'll happen sometime this week, even though it doesn't feel like it at all.

I've been reading through my pregnancy bible and came across something funny: "...but if you happen to go overdue you might get frustrated by the constant calls and by having to repeat yourself. Try to be patient and remember people are simply excited for you and are just as frustrated as you are."

SO TRUE!

I just keep thinking of the time when I finally have this baby and will be able to announce it. I'm excited.

Ok, so I'm in good spirits.

To be honest though I tried EVERYTHING in the book to try and bring on labor. I mean everything. I drank all the different kinds of tea. I have been eating spicy food. I even ate dates. I've been walking, squatting, and tilting. I even talked my husband into 'being intimate' just so we can move things along. Finally, I tried castor oil. I'm a bit of a pussy though and only took 2 teaspoons - you're supposed to take 4 tablespoons. I didn't wanna risk the hemorrhoids again. I know what you're thinking: TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

Point is: whether I like it or not, its not happening according to my terms. I've got to embrace that fact with open arms.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day in the Middle East. It would be nice to have a mother's day miracle.

Wishful thinking.

Sigh

39 Weeks

Ultrasounds Lie

I'm still pregnant.

I've never been more bloated in my entire life. For the past couple of days I've been jumping into our pool in the afternoons just to cool off. And by jumping I mean waddling in. The great thing about having this mini pool is the fact that I can do all my squats and not feel a thing. Gravity can be a bitch when you're carrying around an extra 26 kilos. That's right. You heard me. 26. That would put me at a grand total of 88 kilos. And for those of you who are all WTF, I'll just tell you to look down at the picture of my 38 week belly and realize that all my weight gain has been just that - belly. So fuck you if you think it's too much weight to gain, and fuck you for thinking you know what's best for my body. I'm pretty convinced it'll all melt off a few months after I deliver.

Oh yeah, and the hormones get worse towards the end. Almost as bad as the first trimester. Almost.

I've gotten so sick of people staring at me that the other day I was standing with my husband at the mall and yelled real loud about how staring at my belly is rude and disrespectful. Needless to say all the Arabs staring at me immediately looked away. I'm telling you, it makes me feel naked. A naked, 88 kilo, full-term pregnant woman? Not a pretty sight.

Yesterday I went to this education day celebration Bahrain throws to honor its citizens who received higher education degrees. Since my husband has his masters in law, and his brother has a Phd in electrical engineering, it was a family affair. The point of this isn't to show off that I married smart, the point is: I don't fit into my maternity clothes anymore. The clothes that are XL in maternity. That's how bloated I am. My feet were so swollen, it was ridiculous. Someone stick a fork in me - I'm done. Plus, maybe the fork will help diffuse some of this fluid retention.

Please please send me positive thoughts. I need to pop this baby out soon. I don't think I can wait till past this weekend. I had a nightmare, yes a nightmare, that I was pregnant past my original due date and had to be induced. My original due date is in 9 days.

I lost my mucous plug yesterday. It looks like a bunch of snot tinged with blood. It's basically the 'plug' that lines the cervix. I know. TMI. It means labor is 'imminent' - then again women can go weeks after losing their plugs without labor. Watch, I'm gonna be that woman.

Alright, enough complaining. I didn't think I'd get this far, but I will take a 39 week pregnant picture and post it up soon.

38 Week Picture

Any Day Now

The ultrasound went beautifully.

The baby weighs a healthy 3.6 kilos (8 pounds 1 ounce), and all her measurements are older than that of a 38 week old.

I was told to expect her sometime this week, and the report says my new estimated date of delivery is between the 13th and the 16th. Isn't that tomorrow?

Last night I started getting really strong braxton hicks that were coming every 5 minutes. I took a hot shower and went to bed. I woke up at 5 am with stronger contractions that were coming every 2 minutes, but I also know they're not the real deal - I was able to go back to sleep afterall. This just means its all around the corner.

I have to admit we were so happy to see the baby in 3D. She's adorable, even though she just looks like a baby (you can't tell who she looks like). We are so excited to meet her. At one point we could only see her profile and my husband said: "Come on, move a little so we can see your face." Sure enough, she did. Already her father's daughter.

38 Weeks

Today marks my 38th week of pregnancy. This means I'm going to have a baby sometime in the next 2 weeks. Insert panic attack.

I'm going in for the final ultrasound today. They'll take baby's measurements and in the extreme case she's massive we'll schedule a c-section. I doubt it though - I'm going the natural way first and if I can't handle it then I'll opt for major abdominal surgery instead.

Pictures soon

Around the Corner

I've been really tired lately. It's funny because just last week I had a few days where I felt full of energy. I guess maybe it's the calm before the storm.

My roomie is in town for business. We went out yesterday for a lovely brunch, followed by a mall trip and we had some excellent Indian food for lunch. It's too bad I had 3 hours of cramps throughout the whole thing. The previous night I'd had 6 hours of consistent contractions that came every 20 minutes - false labor stopped at midnight. Anyway, the cramps were so painful I called the hospital. I got yelled at for not coming in earlier, and when we eventually got there I was strapped onto a contraction belt. Although I hadn't had any contractions that day, sure enough they started coming pretty consistently and they were getting strong.

About an hour later the doctor came in, gave me another lecture about not coming in when the cramps started, and decided to do a physical exam to check if my cervix is open. Then she said something weird: apparently there are two openings to the cervix (??). She said that my first one is worn down - typically seen in women who've had several children. But the second one (the important one where baby comes out of) is still closed. She said to consider myself lucky, as if this was not my first child I would have been dialated for sure because my contractions are strong. Apparently with the first one, the contractions have to be even stronger in order for my cervix to start opening. JOY.

I was asked to be admitted and I said No thanks. The first stage of labor takes forever and if this IS labor then I'd rather spend some time at home first. Sure enough we went home and everything calmed down. I have a feeling this is gonna be a FUN couple of weeks.

I'm really, really tired today. I had a good night's sleep (I only peed 4 times!) and needed a nap 3 hours after I woke up. I'm a little uncomfortable but I know it's not labor yet. Given my history I should be careful because labor might start and progress very fast.

I know I probably shouldn't say this because I'll jinx it, but I always thought I'd deliver during my 38th week, as all my measurements are 2 weeks later than I actually am. I'm 38 weeks on Thursday.

Watch - I'm gonna be pregnant for 42 weeks and will have to be induced. That's just the kind of irony I expect.

Better Late than Never

I'm still pregnant

Which is great if I'm still in the "this baby will be born EARLY" mindset. But I'm not. I am exhausted, I can't sleep, I pee every 5 minutes, and I am HEAVY. My last doctor's appointment showed a weight gain of over 7 pounds in one week. That would put my current weight at a grand total of 190 pounds. Holy mother of Jesus, that weight better come off fast, considering it's mostly water retention. If I showed you a picture of my swollen feet it would shock you. I'm choosing to spare your eyes.

I'll post a picture of my belly at 37 weeks sometime soon. I'm due in 3 weeks so all I keep thinking is tick-tock. I've been walking a lot, and have been doing a lot of exercises to help the baby 'drop.' Although, I have been warned that once she drops I'll be even more miserable than I am now cause it'll feel like there's a bowling ball in between my legs. LOVELYS.

In other news, here are the pictures of all the lovely things I've been cooking up.

Home-made bruschetta:



Mmmm, and so EASY to make - the trick is to find an excellent balsamic vinegar.

Then there's my lovely homemade mini-quiche:



It really is YUMMY. The dough itself is SUPER easy to make: flour, cream cheese, cold butter, and salt. The trick is keeping it in the fridge for at least 12 hours before using it. You then have to separate the dough evenly in a mini muffin pan and put it in the oven (HOT) for about 10 minutes. Then you're free to use any toppings your heart desires. The first batch I made I used mushrooms, onions and topped off with mozzarella. The second batch I used carmelized onions, pineapples, and mozzarella. Once you put the toppings, they only need to go into the oven for about 7 minutes. It's a great appetizer for when you have visitors - serve hot.

Then there's Nathalie's Love:



I created this masterpiece one afternoon in Austin. It's basically a rice and chicken (and veggies) dish cooked in a creamy broth, topped with mozzarella and some bread crumbs. Yes - in the oven. I like my oven. It's delicious. If interested let me know and I'll email you the recipe.

And finally, I dabbled in cookie making:




I was pleasantly surprised to realize I had ALL the ingredients for oatmeal raisin cookies. So on Valentine's Day eve I made these. Feel free to make fun of the heart-shaped ones. They were delicious. I got the recipe from my food bible: The Joy of Cooking.

They were YUMZ.

I also made guacamole, but didn't take a picture.

Ok, sorry for the food overdose. I'm sure you're all motivated to make your own and then share them with MEEEEE.